Lost and Exploring: Beginning 2018


Perhaps this blog post is ‘late’, but everyone needs their time; I’ve needed this week, as well as the past year for all the things I have learned.

2017 was a year of transition for me, a year of growth. To be honest, I hope every year is one, and maybe that’s why bloggers all over the world like to reflect. There are, after all, sometimes milestones much easier to name, such as mine below:

These are things I did, things I’ve done, among others. However, perhaps the action nature of these achievements is what makes them easier to discuss, as well as to celebrate on social media.

There are also realizations, however, that have come along with these events. The thoughts around them, such as their meaning and how these disperse, affecting how I approach different aspects of life, may be less obvious, but still remain relevant. This includes how:

  • When in school, there’s a sense of an end to look forward to. You have steps, which includes finishing a certain number of courses and all the work included in them, and then you get your degree, a potential chapter now finished. With work, however, sometimes that kind of conclusion, goal, or direction may be less obvious.
  • Friends change, just as you do, as people do. Sometimes, this growth doesn’t work alongside each other; the parts that helped the friendship to grow in the first place may no longer fit as well. This may possibly be due to geography, having moved, but the drift may also occur based on the recognition of the difference from who you were to who you are now. And, that’s okay for these things to change, especially if you can still remember, honour, the bond that there used to be.

If that made sense to you, that’s good, because it took some time for me to comprehend. That’s part of being lost, I think, and I’ve certainly felt lost this past year. Thank you to those who have celebrated with me, as well as have supported me, as I have journeyed.

As far as 2018 goes, we’re a bit less than a week in, yet I know the resolutions I have are already beginning. This includes taking time to explore, while lost; if I don’t have an exact direction or goal in mind, let me at least see what kind of goals or directions there may be, see whether they are truly of interest to me, and are achievable, rather than floating around.

Because, life is filled with surprises, and holds few guarantees. If I want something, I’m going to need to pursue it and do everything I can, opening the door for opportunities.

In more tangible terms, this means I’m trying to do the following:

  • Podditea, a podcast by Janice Lam and Alana RangaswamyWith writing, a love of mine, I’m going to try my hand at new forms (e.g. short stories), and possibly try and put my writing out there more, such as submitting to a contest or some kind of publication.
  • With Podditea, I want to put more efforts into planning segments, being active on its social media, and planning its future.

Basically, I want to be more driven, and be more passionate with the projects I work on. I want to throw myself into the possibility of happiness.

I’m sharing all of this, because something I do love is discussion, and like I said – I want to put myself out there a bit, though not just with writing; I want to interact and engage with the world some more, again.

We’re all navigating our own lives, trying to find what works for us in this world, build our own personal worlds, and yet, part of what makes all that possible is through engaging with others who are doing the same thing.

So, happy belated 2018, everyone, and let’s connect, let’s explore; this is the stage I’m at, and so, let’s chat.

2017 Song rec: Thorns by Luna Shadows 


#Blog4MH: Not Meeting My Goals


I signed up for the #Blog4MH challenge awhile ago, a challenge where I said I’d blog about mental health at least once a week. This was meant to last for six weeks.

It’s Week 5 already, and I believe this is only the second post I’ve written for it.


I’m someone who sets goals and typically meets them. I like the sense of accomplishment I get when I finish what I said I would.

However, in this case where I obviously haven’t followed through, I’m feeling alright; I’m okay with ‘under performing.’ 

Here’s why:

  1. Life’s been busy. Between summer courses, work, volunteering, and some other things, I haven’t had much time to write in general. Any moment spent on writing has been for assignments, aka things that determine how I do in courses, which may factor into how I manage education-wise and career-wise. I was not going to add further stress by worrying over not meeting a challenge.
  2. If I write anything, I want it to be good. By that, I mean I want the thoughts I express to be real, genuine. I want to be writing about a topic because I want to be; not because I have to be. Feeling obligated to write when I don’t have the time to may lead to a blog that was written rushed and without personal meaning. I’ve always been about quality, not quantity. I am not going to change on that.
  3. I wasn’t inspired. As I mentioned above, I want to write about things that mean something to me. Writing for the sake of having something written isn’t the same as writing because a thought has popped into my head, which I want to share. Again, quality over quantity; I post because I have something to post.

This is why I’m not beating myself up over having not followed through with what I exactly said I would. When I signed up, I didn’t know how busy my life was going to become. I thought my summer would be more relaxing – and so far, I’ve been proven wrong.

That’s okay.

I’ve been practicing self-care through drinking a lot of tea as well as not stressing myself over things I don’t need to. Work, school, and volunteering come first. There is nothing wrong with having focused on higher priorities.

It doesn’t mean that I’m not going to try. As I’ve said, I typically follow through with what I’ve said. I’m going to try my best for the rest of the challenge. However, life is what it is; sometimes you won’t always be able to do what you said you will. Things change, things happen.

And that’s okay.